Young couple buys their first home, friends announce they're moving in with them: 'Something tells me as first time homeowners we’d be frustrated If we immediately let them move in when we haven’t settled in ourselves.'

Brad Dickson • Managing Editor

Mar 28, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

By the time my parents were in their 30s, they had two children and were moving into their second home. My grandparents at the same age had at least five children and were also in their second home. This was a given, an expectation, of an age that has since passed. Meanwhile, in our late 20s and 30s, younger millennials and older members of Gen Z are still renting in shared living situations. This means you're beholden to the whims, ego, and mood swings of another grown adult (who isn't your spouse) with whom you happen to share a space out of sheer necessity.

Having your own place and space all to yourself where you can't be perceived and where you can live in peace is something that a lot of us have never gotten to experience. But when you do experience it for the first time you realize exactly what a massive cultural necessity our generation has been missing out on—something that used to be a given of adulthood for anyone in the middle and working class.

Of course, when you do get your own place, without a doubt, you're going to have some friend who is desperate to get out of their current living situation and come live with you. The problem is friends seldom make good roommates, and when they're moving into a house that you own there's going to be a shift in the dynamic that neither of you are prepared for.

Speaking from experience in this exact same situation, and really for any similar situation, you're better off just ripping the bandaid off early and having the hard conversation as soon as possible before things go too far and get out of hand. Under no circumstances should you get to the point where the friend in question is actually moving their stuff in, or has already moved in, before you realize your gut feeling was correct and things just aren't going to work out.

When this couple finally bought their first home, their presumptive friends assumed they'd be moving in with them. Of course, they would! What fun! The problem is the prospect is not so exciting when you're the one who is finally facing the chance to exist on your own. Wondering how to approach the situation the couple shared their experiencing in this post, appealing to readers for their advice.

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"We’d be frustrated If we immediately let them move in when we haven’t settled in ourselves."

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"We got an offer on a house, our friends asked if they can move in"

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via Getty Images For Unsplash+

_{The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.}
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